the inspo • behind 'better than how i found it'

Visionary paintings speak to the soul without using a single word. Each brushstroke has a meaning, every color carries emotion, even the most subtle details help tell a story. My oil painting, 'better than how i found it', tells my story.  I wove together a visual rendition of my emotions, memories, and dreams on canvas with hopes it could help others on their journey and be a bright light for those who are in darkness. It's hard to put in words what an art piece was meant to say - it may not even resonate with everyone in the same way - so I invite you to walk with me as I lay out my mindset during the creation process and challenge you to see things in your own POV as place your feet in my footsteps.

Walk with me

As we journey through life, we face a multitude of challenges that help shape us along the way. With each step, we have a choice: Do we choose to live life selfishly, do things for our own benefit, pave our own pathway to greatness? Or do we choose to go out of our way for someone else, help someone in need, make someone else smile, and treat them with kindness?

This concept was born one January evening, my mind a little heavy after a long day. I felt called to take out my sketch pad and allow my heart to guide my pencil. I ended up sketching my silhouette out on the page and let my feelings flow. Tears dripped onto the pages as I replayed all the memories from my life. No matter how far back my mind went, one thought kept repeating itself: I always strive to leave things better than how I found it ... if everyone I had ever met possessed that same mindset, my life would have been brighter. If I replace pain with love, my life tapestry will be filled with flowers.

I knew in that moment that I needed to turn these emotions into an art piece and I knew exactly what to call it.

How the elements came to be

As I said before, each element plays a role in portraying the message hidden within. I chose a deep purple color for my background because I felt it embodied what emotions I wanted to portray. Purple is a royal color (after all, I've been dubbed the princess of the family) but it also signifies power, amibition, wisdom, spiritualism, creativity and mystery. By using this shade, I included subliminal symbolism into the qualities I hoped my life would possess. The background of this painting was left relatively untouched as it signifies the pathway through life that we walk on. My past had its fair share of dark moments so I added a vignette to the bottom right corner to show that the darkness is now behind me. 

Each footstep made in my journey through life springs forth a burst of greenery to showcase good intentions. If you look closely, you'll notice that not every step is bursting with flowers. I decided to do this mid-painting because I felt compelled to ackowledge that not every choice I made was a good one. Even I have been the villian in someone's story once upon a time. 

The flower I decided to use added to the message of this visionary self-portrait. I chose to paint peony flowers because of their richness in symbolism. Among love, pink peonies in particular stand for prosperity, grace and good fortune. Hot pink stands for passion and youthful joy. Red stands for romance, honor and respect. Purple showcases elegance and success. White stands for purity and innocence. Last but not least, yellow signifies both life and death. I wanted all of these elements to shine through in my work so I chose to use a multitude of colors in each petal to infuse all of the above into every bloom.

If you look closely at my silhouette, you'll see a soft glow. I intentionally added this in to signify hope. By being the light, we can be a beacon of hope for others in their darkest hour. I chose to clothe myself in purple to tie together this special message. I painted on my tattoo (God is greater that the ups and downs of life) because I am a woman of faith and firmly believe God has guided me out of many dark situations. I decided to add the rosary in my hand because when I was very little, my Memere told me, "Everytime we pray with the rosary, we save a life." I would often choose to do this instead of playing (a feat my family found shocking). I felt this component was imporant because God has been with me since day one and by holding on tight to His promises, I know that he will lead me safely back home.

An unexpected addition

I originally completed this painting without one particular element. This self-portrait was intended to be a healing project so I ended up putting it to the side for a few months. After many nights of studying it before bed, I felt something important was missing.

One day, I felt called to put it back on my easel. I decided to let my brush go free and ended up painting bubble-like elements in shades of blue, pink and purple. I wasn't really sure what the message would be yet, but as I continued to paint, it became increasingly clear - each bubble symbolized a memory. The darker the bubble, the darker the memory; The lighter the bubble, the happier the memory. I found myself re-living different parts of my life with each stroke, attaching special moments in time to each one. I gave them the impression of floating away from my silhouette to show that memories may fade over time but they help shape your journey and add color to your life.

Artist’s Touch: Creating soft, circular shapes can be difficult with paints - I started off by making a small mark with a round brush in one color. Using a small mop brush,  I then moved the color in small, circular motions, adding in different shades where I felt they were needed to give them a sense of depth and a 3-D look.

With my painting finally complete, I wasn't sure I even wanted to share it. The vulnerability I would feel when sharing it with the world, well, it felt... daunting. As time went by, my heart softened to the idea that this message could actually help someone else that faced challenges and uncertainty. When new doors opened, I felt called to finally showcase my visionary creation.

I've decided to hold off on making the original available for purchase because my soul still needs it - I feel I have more healing to do. Until then, 30 prints of this piece will be made and framed in black - as an ode to the age I was when I created this piece.

A beautiful ending

This painting will live-launch at a place that has been my favorite hang-out spot for some time  - the Pub at Baxter! Hosting this live-release event and my pop-up gallery, everyone who comes in will get a chance to see the original first-hand and have the rare chance of acquiring exclusive matted prints of this piece.

The staff at the Pub decided to shake things up with a lovely cocktail that mirrored the message of this piece. With hints of lemon and color-changing butterfly pea extracts that react to citrus - this cocktail (or mocktail) called 'better than before' speaks on the beauty of adding in light and love into life.

I hope you enjoyed this in-depth break-down of the insoirations behind this special self-portrait creation. May it aid you on your journey through life and remind you that through your actions, you can always leave things better than how you found it.

Stay bright, beautiful souls.